


Thoughts About Love

by yzabel



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Im bad with tags so yeah, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, thoughts, toxic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yzabel/pseuds/yzabel
Summary: What are your thoughts about love? Or rather, what are their thoughts about the kind of love that they have?
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Kudos: 14





	Thoughts About Love

_Thoughts about love?_

At first, it felt beautiful. You get to feel butterflies and a weird feeling swirling around your stomach, your cheeks blushing as red as the roses he gave to you, and really—what’s the use of looking for a starry sky when I can just look into those dazzling eyes?

Love… it feels amazing, I don’t know what other words can be used to describe it, it’s just inexplicable. Love can make you speechless, it can make you say faint words that cannot be understood as anything but a mere breath.

Falling in love, falling in a fathomless hole—unsure of what’s below, but you still took every risk for that person. Why? Because that’s love.

However, no matter how beautiful something can be, flaws and scars are carved on its very edges. Like a paper plane ripped to pieces, a burst balloon, and a shattered window—all that were once whole ended up being in pieces.

Every day was the same; the yelling, the apologies, fingers being pointed, the unbearable pain breaking out, and two pairs of eyes staring at each other: one was anxious while the other looked numb.

“Let’s break up,” Three words that have already been repeated for countless of times escaped his quivering lips. He would always run away every time, it sickens me, but I never had the thought of leaving him because of that.

I wanted him, every little piece of him; I wanted everything about him, even if each of the torn growing around his edges were hurting me.

“Why? Because you’re tired?” My voice was hoarse, my throat felt itchy, maybe because we’ve been yelling at each other all day.

“I am. I’m so fucking tired, Yeonjun! Why are we always like this? I hate it!” Beomgyu’s voice was shaking in sync with his pretty hands. His raven locks laid flat on his forehead but soon enough turned messy when he ruffled his hair.

I opened my mouth as an attempt to answer him, but no words left my mouth—just a single hint of breath as I closed my eyes in frustration.

Slowly, he squatted down the floor and covered his face with the palms of his hands. Silence enveloped the room, I stood there—blankly staring at the boy in front of me.

His hands were still shaking, and I know he’s holding his tears in—of course, he is. I’ve known him since the very beginning.

Besides, it’s not even new anymore. It’s always like this. We argue, we fight, and then we’ll stay on our places—standing or sitting in silence to let everything melt down.

I sat down on the bed, letting out a sigh as I stared at him. The entirety of this room was in a stark mess; clothes scattered around the room, the things that were once on the table were now dispersed around the floor, the only window was open, and even the bed I’m sitting on right now is untidy.

Thoughts about love?

It’s messy, just like this room—just like us. Love is unfathomable; it mends and molds you to the best version of yourself, yet it hurts and breaks you until you become a mess.

Beomgyu and I were a mess. There were scars buried underneath our sleeves, cheeks stained with salty tears, and somehow—we felt emotionless. I guess, love already broke us into something that can never be fixed.

“I’m sick of this,” I heard him whine as he hugged his knees.

We were sick of this; I’m sick of him and he’s sick of me, but we still stayed with each other.

We were so sick of it, but we still love each other. We were already deeply stabbed all the way to our souls, but we still embraced each other. The very last star on our starry eyes already exploded, but we were still staring at each other—as if we were captivated by the specks of dust those dead stars left floating around our eyes.

Beomgyu and I were broken, but it felt like two different pieces still fit together so well.

“Beomgyu, baby, come here. I miss hugging you,” I said and flashed out an endearing smile. He looked at me with those doe eyes—the same gaze that sucked me in like a giant wormhole the first time we met.

His eyes, they were still the same, glistening, and dazzling eyes that captivated me since the very first day I laid my eyes on him.

Even amidst this chaotic love we’re suffocating ourselves with, his eyes still shined the same way it did when he was staring at me even though a whole ocean of stars were already trying to hook his attention away from me.

“Me too…” He mumbled but I heard it clearly. Beomgyu walked towards me and sat on my lap, I slowly wrapped him around with my hands, and laid the both of us down on the bed.

I caressed his cheek as I smiled, “I love you…” I whispered as I kissed the top of his head. Beomgyu smiled and hugged me, “I love you, too.”

Thoughts about love?

Well, this very moment is the best thing about love. Amidst a battle, we stayed with each other—even if we were so close to the edge, we didn’t let go. If he falls, I will too. If he stumbles, I’ll pick him up. If we’ll break apart, then we’ll fix each other over and over again.

Even if love can be chaotic and unbearable at times, it’s still one of the best things a person can feel. That even if it hurts, breaks, and changes us into someone unknown when we're in front of the mirror, we would still look for it in every dark side of the world.

Love can be chaotic, but it’s also beautiful.

_And love was beautiful because Beomgyu exists._


End file.
